Kiss the Stars
by Ashantai
Summary: Max and Alec share a past and an understanding... then Max goes into heat, forcing buried feelings into the open. (Note: not like other Max-goes-into-heat-around-Alec fics)
1. Chapter 1

Title: Kiss the Stars 

Author: Ashantai 

E-Mail: ashantai@hotmail.com 

Archive: Please ask! 

Pairings: M/A 

Rating: G... so far :) 

Spoilers: Just Pollo Loco so far but it takes place in the second season, so... 

Summary: My first attempt at a romance ever. (M/A) 

Disclaimer: I don't own Dark Angel, wish I did, don't sue me please. 

Author's Notes: I have never done a Max/Alec fic, and I don't know if I'm even a M/A shipper (!). I just wanted to do a romantic-ish fic and I thought about all the options and M/A seemed to be the one to do (sorry, M/L shippers, but he's like 13 years older than her and as a 17-year-old, the thought of dating a 30-year-old scares me). PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW THIS as it's is my first attempt at both M/A and romance... so I'll continue if you guys like it because I'm really not sure about it at all at this point. 

Author's Note #2: "Kiss the Stars" is a working title. If you have a better suggestion please suggest it! 

  
KISS THE STARS 

The music was loud at Crash that night, louder than usual, or maybe it was just her. Sometimes she got like that, edgy in situations she would normally be completely comfortable in. Like tonight- there was nothing odd about Crash's selection of music, but it was making her tense for some unknown reason. It wasn't that she was in heat; at least, she didn't think so. 

Max took a sip of her beer and leaned back in her chair. Alec was sitting beside her, Original Cindy across the table from them; they were both eyeing the same beautiful East Indian girl playing pool. The woman caught OC's eyes after making a particularly difficult shot and gestured at her; Cindy almost melted and Alec looked disappointed at finding out the girl wasn't straight. After a moment, Cindy stood. 

"I'm goin' for it," she said, grinning at Max. "Wish me good luck, boo." 

"Good luck," Max said, smiling at her friend as Cindy headed over to the pool table, her hips swaggering flirtatiously. 

"You look edgy," Alec remarked after they sat there for a moment. He annoyed her with his ability to read her so well when she couldn't even hope to see his emotions unless he let her. She felt his blue eyes boring into her and chose to ignore him. "Want to leave?" he asked, surprising her. 

"And go where?" she answered curiously. He shrugged and took another sip of his beer. 

"Every time the base makes a sound over 100 decibels you wince. I thought you might want to get out of here." 

"I would," she decided. "My ears seem to be hypersensitive for some reason tonight- well, I mean more hypersensitive than usual." They shared a smile. 

"Yeah, actually, mine are too," he admitted, seeming as confused as she. Max drained the last of her beer and grabbed her jacket from the back of her chair, pulling it on. She scanned the room for Cindy to say she'd see her later but she was nowhere in sight; Max smirked and followed Alec outside. 

"Where to?" he asked once the door shut behind them and the night air of Seattle met their hot faces. She was already feeling better, outside where it was cooler and her eardrums weren't being constantly pounded on. 

"I don't know," she said, glancing sideways at him. 

"Want to go to my place?" he asked. "It's got all the alcohol and not so much base." 

"Sounds good to me," Max said, grinning at him. They climbed onto her motorcycle and she gunned the engine, roaring off into the night, revelling in the feeling of the wind through her hair. Alec, meanwhile, was not revelling at all in the feeling of Max's hair whipping him in the face. He brought his hand up and gathered her tresses up, shoving them to the side; he laid his chin on her shoulder and smiled with satisfaction, both at the new lack of whipping and the slight tensing of Max's body next to his as his action surprised her. After a moment he felt her shake it off and relax slightly. 

Suddenly his eyes widened a little- no, he must have been imagining it, but... did she just lean back into him a little? 

  
Alec poured them each a drink and they sat on his sofa; he was amused to see that they both sat the same way: on the back, their shoed feet pressing into the seat-cushions. Max took a sip of her drink and glanced over at him; they weren't speaking, but oddly the silence wasn't uncomfortable. After a while Max sank down onto the sofa, bringing her knees up to her chin and wrapping her arms around her legs. She rested her cheek against her knee and tilted her head at Alec, giving him a small smile. He, too, lowered himself to the couch, putting his arm over the back of the sofa. Max was gazing at him openly, something she didn't normally do; Alec met her eyes and they shared a long look, strangely comfortable staring at each other though unspoken social rules said theat shouldn't have been the case. 

"Every time I used to look at you all I could see was him," she said suddenly, softly. There was a long silence; he didn't have to ask who she was talking about. 

"And now?" he finally managed. 

"And now..." She looked at him. "Now I see you. Alec. I don't see him anymore." She glanced away, shook her head in frustration and slowly turned toward him, dropping her head against the back of the sofa. She sighed, played with a piece of lint on one of the cushions. "It's hard to see him now even if I'm trying." She sounded sad. 

"I'm sorry," Alec said; what else could he say? 

"No," she said immediately. "No, that's not what I meant. You can't help who you look like. It's just- I feel guilty about it... about you..." She glanced away. "I miss him." 

"How did he die?" Alec asked softly; she looked over at him, surprised, thinking that he would have known, would have been told at some point. Somehow she still thought that Manticore would have had at least the decency to tell a man when his own brother was dead. Obviously not; she should have figured they wouldn't. 

"I killed him," she said. "He was murdering people... out of control. It wasn't-" She shrugged, looked away from his intense gaze, feeling defensive. "Anyway, that's how he died." 

"I'm sorry," Alec said again. Max looked at him, narrowed her eyes. 

"Stop saying that." 

"What do you want me to say?" he asked calmly; Max threw her hands up and stood quickly, pacing. He followed her movements with his eyes. After a moment she stopped in front of him, sat back down and leaned forward, staring into his eyes again. He watched her curiously, waiting. 

"Do you even care?" she asked, hating that as she looked at him she saw not one thing she could read and so many she couldn't. "Do you even care that he's dead? He was your brother. He was _our_ brother." 

"I'm not your brother." 

"I didn't say that." 

"I didn't know him, Max." 

"That doesn't matter." 

"I guess I don't think that." Now he was the one feeling defensive. 

"You should," she snapped; she glanced away from him, hugged herself. She rubbed her hands up and down her arms angrily, looking very much like she was thinking of standing up to pace again. Alec leaned over before she could, put his hands on her shoulders. Her skin was hot; she met his eyes, confused and hesitant and maybe a little frightened at his surprising action. His deep blue eyes bored into her dark brown ones. 

"I knew," he said softly after a long moment. Slowly he let her go and pulled back, but now she had no intention of getting up. 

"You knew," she repeated blankly, not understanding. 

"That he was dead. I knew. I can't explain it. I knew he existed before they told me. I knew that. And I knew before they told me that he died, too." 

"How is that possible?" 

"I don't know. I've heard there's some pretty freaky things about twins; I guess even Manticore couldn't program it out." 

"How did you know?" Her voice was a near-whisper. 

"I woke up once in the middle of the night, a couple of years ago. I had this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that I'd just died, or a bit of me had just died, but I was alive." He shook his head. "Like I said, I can't explain it. I just... knew." He swallowed, glanced away. "It hurt." 

"I'm sorry." Now it was Max's turn to apologize. Alec gazed over at her. 

"You loved him." It wasn't a question; she gazed at him, not sure what he wanted her to say, or what that look in his eyes was as he stared at her. "I heard it in your voice when you thought I was him. Hope. And then when you realized I was someone else..." He glanced away again, stifled a sigh. "The first thing I was to you was a disappointment." 

"You weren't what I expected," Max admitted; pain flashed through his eyes. Then she touched his arm, smiled at him. "But you're not a disappointment, Alec. You're different. You can't help being..." Her smile faltered. "...not him. It was hard for me to allow myself to get to know you." She let her breath out, long and shaky. "I was afraid." 

"That I would be like him?" he asked, soft. No judgement, only hope. His eyes said, _Just tell me._

"No, that wasn't it." She looked away. No annoyance, only sadness. _You won't understand._

"That I _wouldn't_ be like him?" he asked. _I'm trying._

Max shook her head. "No," she said again, softly. _You can't understand. I can't make you._ Alec's brow furrowed in frustration and confusion at her answer. 

"What, then?" he asked, and the gentleness in his voice surprised her; she looked up, met his soft blue eyes, swallowed. He tilted his head at her. _Just tell me. You'll feel better if you do, I promise._

"I was afraid..." Her voice was barely there. "I was afraid... that..." She swallowed again, with more difficulty this time, averted her eyes. _I don't tell people things._

"What were you afraid of, Maxie?" _Neither do I. That must mean something._

"I was afraid that I would lose you." _There, I said it._ She looked at him. "I was afraid that if I let myself know you I would lose you and it would be like losing him all over again, and I couldn't go through that, so I just kept pushing you away. I've _been_ pushing you away." 

Alec stared at her; for once in his life he actually didn't know what to say. 

  
A/N: I wanted to get Ben out in the open now so he doesn't conflict with later plot developments... also because I like Ben and I want to give more attention to the Ben/Alec issue Max must have than the show has... anyway, please review and I know it's not too romancy yet but it will be if I continue. :)


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note #1: As I've never written a romance fic, this chapter (and the last one, and likely subsequent ones) is very short. Sorry and hope you don't mind! 

  
X5 Resource- please visit!! http://members.tripod.com/~Ashantai/DarkAngel/Home.html 

  
KISS THE STARS - Chapter 2 

"Say something," Max said after a long time. She reached up and hugged herself. 

"Cold?" he asked; she rolled her eyes at his less than satisfactory response and shook her head. 

"No, hot," she said. He smirked. 

"I'll say," he said. She reached out and punched him, then picked up her glass and held it out. 

"Get me another drink," she said; he took the glass, not breaking eye contact with her. Slowly he stood. 

"Okay." His voice was low and the simple word seemed to run smoothly off his tongue like honey. It sent shivers up and down her spine. He rejoined her and took a seat beside her, handing her the drink. After a sip she set it down on the coffee table and they sat there in silence for a while. Finally she turned to him. 

"Tell me about Rachel," she said. He took a long swig of his drink and kept staring straight ahead. 

"Nope." 

"Come on, I told you stuff," she said gently. When he didn't respond, she gave up without pushing what she knew was a sensitive topic. 

"Can you at least open a window?" she asked. "It really is hot in here." Alec turned to her, nodded. 

"Yeah, it is," he said, getting up again and cracking his window. He stood there for a minute, touching the glass. She watched him, and the power suddenly cut out, casting half of his face into shadows. Oddly, it didn't make him look threatening at all, just mysterious. 

"Brownout," Max said. "Where are your candles?" 

"We can see in the dark," he said, not moving from the window, still staring outside. Max frowned at him. 

"I'd prefer some light," she said. 

"Why?" He still wasn't looking at her. "Because it makes you feel normal?" 

Max tensed at his words momentarily but the feeling passed almost immediately. He could have said it meanly- Ben would have said it meanly- but Alec's voice was full of gentleness and no judgement. 

"I don't know," she admitted. 

"She was beautiful," he said suddenly from the window; his fingers traced slow, uncomfortable patterns on the glass. Max watched him, the candles forgotten. 

"Does that matter?" she asked after a moment. "It's not new for us." 

"With her it was different," he said; his voice was so soft that if she hadn't had superior hearing she never would have known he'd spoken at all. Slowly, finally, he turned back to face her, but he still wouldn't meet her eyes. "Her beauty was... flawed, I guess." A slow smile spread over his features. "Not perfect or designed, just a natural beauty, completely spontaneous." 

"I can see the appeal in that." 

"She had this laugh, too. Best laugh I'd ever heard. Of course, I was biased. There had never been too much laughter in Manticore." 

"Not even when you were a child?" She met his eyes from across the room and realized that she'd never noticed how beautiful they were before. She was noticing so much about him like that; was it just because she'd finally acknowledged that he wasn't Ben? It seemed a little simple. 

"No," Alec said, answering her question. "No, we weren't like you and your brothers and sisters. Probably because you left, though they didn't tell me there was ever an escape until just before I met you." 

"So you weren't close at all?" 

"They separated us, of course, when we got to be teenagers." 

"I'm glad I didn't stick around for that," she said. "I don't know what I would have done without them." 

"Was it any different on the outside?" he asked. "You weren't all together in the world, were you?" She glanced away. 

"No. We weren't." She looked over at him. "Come and sit down." 

"I'd better not," he said, crossing his arms over his chest and glancing away from her. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked irritably. Alec met Max's dark eyes hesitantly. She was pouting slightly though she didn't know it, her full lips pursed together, and looking at him through lowered lashes. She was absolutely beautiful. He wished he could go over and hold her close and kiss those full, pouting lips until... Alec forced himself to break off that train of thought and glared at her for a moment, thinking she was trying to be smart. Then he realized she was truly confused. 

"You don't know," he stated, surprise overtaking his desire for a brief moment. She gazed at him. 

"Know..?" 

"Haven't you ever been around an X5 when you're-" Alec broke off, realizing she hadn't. "You escaped when you were nine." He shook his head disbelievingly. "But not even Zack?" 

"Not even Zack what?" 

"You've never been around Zack when you're in heat?" Max flushed bright red, glanced away. 

"He was around the city once when I was... but he wasn't near me when it happened." Now that she thought about it, she couldn't believe how dangerously close she'd come to being with him at that time. 

"I'm sure that wasn't a coincidence," she heard Alec mutter; Max glared over at him. 

"I'm not in heat, Alec." 

"Trust me, I can tell before you can," he said; he hadn't meant to but his voice came out as more of a purr than words. Her brows lifted in surprise and a flicker of desire passed through her eyes. As soon as he saw that his body took on a life of its own. He pushed himself away from the wall and took a step toward her. She stood slowly as he approached her, looking considerably more unsure about her state of mind and being as he stopped within inches of her. 

"Alec..." Max's voice was laced with uncertainty. She could feel the heat between their bodies and tried to swallow; her throat was like sandpaper. "I'm not in heat," she said again, but her voice was tiny. She gazed at him, and Alec saw another flicker of desire go through her eyes, staying significantly longer this time. She shivered slightly in response to it. 

He couldn't stand it anymore; he stepped forward and brushed the fingers of one hand feather-light against her face, stroking down to her throat, feeling her pulse speed beneath his touch. Her eyes widened and the look on her face was priceless- surprise and fear and excitement and desire all rolled into one. Alec laughed, low in his throat, but it came out as a near growl instead. Their eyes burned into each other. 

"Alec..." she said again, her voice barely there. He tried to read her emotions but the pheromones, thick in the air, were getting in his way. 

"Max..." he breathed, bringing his other hand up to touch her hair lightly. Almost indiscernibly, she turned her cheek into his palm and breathed his scent in deeply. It was a courtship written in instinct left over from evolution and amplified to by the feline DNA they had both been given. 

He stood there, not daring to breathe, to do anything but let her inhale his scent and the pheromones along with it. He felt Max's lips part slowly, and a moment later she had nipped his hand with her small, delicate teeth, sinking them into him with carnal possessiveness. 

Alec's eyes fluttered closed, and he was immediately lost. With the urgency of everything he'd been trying to hold back since he'd first realized she was in heat, he leaned down and pressed his lips hard against hers. Max sighed, long and low, and the sound turned into a soft moan as their hands tangled in each other's hair and the kiss deepened. Alec gave her a little nudge toward the hallway that led to his bedroom and she let his weight and the pheromones carry her in that direction, never letting his lips go as they moved. 

"Are you going to hate me when you wake up?" he asked between kisses even as he pulled her jacket off. She helped him with his shirt. 

"I don't sleep," she said; they smiled into each other's lips. 

"I'm serious," Alec said as she ran her hands over his bare chest, driving him wild. 

"I don't know," she answered truthfully. After a moment she added, "No. This is affecting you too, isn't it?" 

"God, yes," he ground out as she gave him a little nip on his neck and then kissed the spot, mixing pain with pleasure deliciously. Alec growled, low in his throat, and reached up to unhook Max's bra as they continued toward the bedroom. 

"Wait," she said suddenly, pulling back from him and flattening herself against the wall of the hallway. He stared at her, hands still outstretched. She was gazing at him, her eyes darkened with desire, obviously trying very hard not to throw herself at him across the mere three feet of the hallway. 

"What?" he gasped, breathing hard, reaching back and digging his hands into the wall to stop himself from grabbing her and silencing her with his mouth. They stared at each other, chests heaving, for several seconds. 

"We can't do this," she said. 

"Yes we can," he said, reaching out. He could only think of one thing: shutting her up and getting them to his bed. "Come on." He touched her shoulder and she nearly jumped out of her skin to get away from him. 

"Don't do that!" she yelled through gritted teeth, not looking at him. "We can't do this, Alec. I love Logan, not you." 

"You can't touch Logan!" he said, exasperated and incredibly horny. "Come on, Max, just get over here." He walked over to her, his feet- and other parts- having a mind of their own, and grabbed her chin, lowering his lips down against hers again, forcing his tongue between her clenched teeth. She fought it for a moment, then sank into it with a little sigh and kissed him hotly back. Her hands began pulling at his jeans. 

"Wait," he said raggedly before she could pull his zipped down. He held her by the shoulders firmly and leaned his forehead against hers, closing his eyes against her desire-filled ones so he would have at least a chance of gaining some control. Pheromones and heat radiated out of their skin; they were both breathing raggedly. 

"You're right," he finally managed. "You should leave." 

"Yes," she agreed immediately. 

"Max," he said after several moments of standing there. "Go." 

"I'm trying," she said, her voice halfway between a purr and a whine. Alec laughed. It was a mistake; their eyes flew open and suddenly he was kissing her again. All reason and self-control was gone and they quickly shrugged out of the rest of their clothing before falling onto his bed. 

  
A/N: Okay, what did you think?? I've never written this kind of stuff before! Please, please review this! As those of you who've read my other fanfics know, I'm very concerned with keeping characterization true... however, I've discovered that it's very difficult to do this in a romance fic like this one. Hopefully it wasn't too annoying. Review me, please, even though I know it was short! :)


	3. Chapter 3

X5 Resource- please visit!! http://members.tripod.com/~Ashantai/DarkAngel/Home.html 

  
KISS THE STARS - Chapter 3 

Max felt tears stinging her eyes. Alec was asleep beside her. She glanced down at him, wrapped the sheet tightly around herself, and put a foot out of his warm bed. Tying to stand as quietly as possible, a hand grabbed her wrist almost immediately. Max met his blue eyes hesitantly, stifling an inward sigh because she knew he could hear as well as she could and she hadn't really thought she'd get away. She opened her mouth to say something but he reached up and put a finger on her lips. 

Alec gazed at Max sadly; the scent of her heat was stale now, the pheromones all but gone from the air. It was over. He saw the tears threatening as she gazed down at him. 

"Don't say anything," he said gently. She watched him, confusion flashing briefly through her eyes. He sighed. "If you say something then we're going to fight." A few tears spilled down her cheeks and he sat up, reaching out to touch her shoulder. She jerked away. 

"Max," he said. "Max." He looked at her. "I'm not your brother." He wanted to make sure that wasn't what was bothering her. 

"I know," she bit out. Her eyes said, _You're not Logan._ He was afraid of that. 

"Max-" 

"Just don't," she whispered in a tiny voice. She wasn't looking at him. "Please." He watched her stand shakily and gather her clothes, and then she shut herself in his bathroom to get dressed. Alec fell back against his bed and groaned in frustration. 

"You said you wouldn't hate me," he told her when she'd emerged fully dressed, still not meeting his eyes and hugging herself as she stood uncomfortably several feet away. Her shirt was torn at the shoulder from where he'd ripped it off. 

"I would have said anything to get-" She stopped and his brows lifted. 

"Am I that irresistible?" He'd been trying to lighten the mood, but he immediately regretted the comment as her eyes flew to his, anger and pain flashing through them. 

"Max," he said. "Look, what do you want me to say? I'm sorry. Neither of us could stop-" 

"Just shut up," she whispered; he closed his mouth. She glanced at him after a long silence and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "Well," she said finally, agitated. "Go on." 

"Uh... okay." He thought it best not to argue with her. "We can pretend it didn't happen if you want, Max. Anything you want. I really am sorry. I didn't mean to wreck everything. You're a friend. My first friend, I guess." He was rambling. "Anyway..." Alec let his breath out, long and hard. "I don't know what else to say. What do you want?" 

"I don't know." Her voice was so small. 

"Come here," he said softly. She looked at him for a long moment, then gingerly sat on the end of the bed. He moved so he was sitting beside her and her whole body stiffened; she was like a skittish horse ready to bolt at the first sign of trouble. 

"It's okay," he said. He put his hand on her shoulder, tried to make it a friendly gesture, even a brotherly one if she wanted it to be, anything but the touch of a lover because he knew that would only scare her off and make her hate him. Despite the camaraderie in his posture her whole body tensed up and she fought him slightly as his other hand coaxed her into his arms. Finally, with a small, barely-audible sigh, she leaned into him, completely exhausted. This was a whole new experience for Alec; usually after spending a night with a woman he largely ignored her in the morning, but with Max his instincts were telling him something very different. With Max, _everything_ he did was different, and he frequently found that he was surprising- and scaring- himself. 

"What?" he asked gently. She was crying against his chest. "What's wrong?" _Stupid question, Alec,_ he berated himself immediately. 

"It was nice." Her voice was barely there. There was a long pause; had he heard her right? 

"Nice," he repeated flatly. 

"Yes," she forced. "Nice. Good. I've never... done that with an X5 before." Alec's eyes lifted in surprise. 

"Really?" he said. _It must have been good, then,_ he couldn't help thinking. 

"Really," she repeated softly. Tears were slipping down his bare chest. Alec didn't understand, didn't know what to do. He had never been trained for this! 

"If it was nice, then what's the matter?" It was obviously the wrong thing to say. She pulled back from his arms and stared at him; now she was more angry than sad, which he found relieved him slightly. 

"Don't you get it?" 

"No," he said honestly. She glared at him and he quickly reconsidered. "I get that I'm not Logan. I get that you regret what we did." 

"No, I don't regret it, that's the problem!" she yelled; there was another long silence. "I don't regret it," she finally repeated, low. "It was nice. I liked it." 

"Good," he said, smiling at her. She shot off the bed and his grin fell away. 

"No, it's not _good!"_ she cried. She paced and he followed her with his eyes. "It's not good, it's bad! I'm supposed to be in love with _Logan!"_ Alec managed to resist the urge to mention the virus before what she'd actually said hit him. What was she saying...? 

"What are you saying?" he asked. Now she really wasn't looking at him; her arms were crossed over her chest as she shifted her weight from one foot to another. 

"I don't know," she said. "I don't know." 

"Max, are you..." He couldn't form the words; he didn't want to form the words. They scared him. He'd thought that she'd just enjoyed the pleasure of what they'd done, but 'I'm supposed to be in love with Logan!' insinuated much more. He tried again. "Are you saying-" 

"I don't know what I'm saying," she cut him off, staring at him. She added softly, "I don't know." 

  
A/N: This chapter is short, I know, and I don't think my best writing ever... I didn't really know where to end it, either, you can probably tell. I just wanted to get something out there because I'm not sure where I'm going with it. Suggestions are more than welcome! I might end up abandoning this experiment, though- just a warning not to get too attached. :) Review please!!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Due to unbelievable support and requests, both by review and email, that I not abandon this fic, I am trudging on! Thanks so much for the nice reviews, guys- my self esteem for this story went through the roof!!! :) I hope you like this chapter and reviews as well as suggestions are always welcome! 

  
X5 Resource- please visit!! http://members.tripod.com/~Ashantai/DarkAngel/Home.html 

  
KISS THE STARS - Chapter 4 

"You did _what?"_ Original Cindy cried the next day at Crash; Max took another swig of her beer and said nothing. Cindy saw the pain on her face and touched her shoulder gently. 

"So you had an itch," she said. "You scratched it. Ain't nothin' wrong with that." 

"But I scratched it with _Alec,"_ Max hissed at her. "And what about Logan?" 

"Things are still weird between you and him," Cindy said cautiously. "Maybe doing the dirty deed with Alec was your way of sorting things out?" She raised an eyebrow in a _prove-me-wrong_ expression. 

"I was in heat, I couldn't control myself," Max reminded her. "And apparently that does something funny to X5 males anyway, so it's not his fault either." That annoyed her; it would have been so much easier to blame all of her confusing emotions on Alec. Her eyes flitted to the bar, where he was sitting nursing the same drink he'd ordered when he first came in almost an hour before. Max frowned. 

"I'm not surprised," Cindy was saying. "Males _are_ the more primitive specimens of the human race." 

"Uh-huh," Max said, half-listening as she got to her feet. 

"Where you goin'?" 

"I'll be right back," she said, already walking away; Cindy watched her head over to Alec and rolled her eyes. 

"Hey," Max said, taking a seat next to him. He turned to her slowly and she was soon fidgeting under his intense gaze."So..." she began, trying to break the tense silence. "That was a pretty uncomfortable day at work." 

"Yeah," he said, turning his eyes away from her and back to his drink, relieving her slightly. All day at Jam Pony they had been avoiding each other, or bumping into one another and making quick apologies before extracting themselves from each other's presence. It was ridiculous, of course; they were acting like a couple of teenagers, and their behaviour provoked strange looks and questions from Original Cindy which had finally culminated into Max's confession of a few minutes before. She sighed. 

"What?" Alec asked. She looked at him, didn't answer for a long moment. 

"Nothing," she said. He stood up suddenly, grabbing his jacket. 

"I'm going to go," he announced, pulling it on. "See you later, Max." 

"Are you mad?" she called as he left; he stopped, not turning around. 

"Come with me and we'll talk about it," he said. She hesitated, her eyes flitting to Original Cindy, who was watching the exchange from a distance, not hearing the words but reading the body language. She motioned her encouragement to Max. 

"Okay," she said, grabbing her own coat, tossing a smile to Cindy, and walking outside into the cool night air with Alec. They walked in silence for a few blocks before she couldn't stand it anymore, and grabbed his arm, halting him. His muscles rippled under her touch, reminding her of how she'd clutched him in passion the night before, sending a shiver down her spine. She let go of him. 

"So are you?" she asked. "Mad?" 

"Are you?" he countered. She thought about that for a moment. 

"No," she answered honestly. He visibly relaxed. 

"Come on," he said. "Let's go to my place and talk." He took a step forward. 

"We'd better not," she said, hanging back. Alec stopped. 

"What's wrong?" he asked slowly. "You're not in heat anymore. Nothing's going to happen." She glanced away, hugged herself without realizing she was doing it. He was gazing at her in that piercing, guarded way that unnerved her, one of his few expressions that didn't incorporate a smile and one of the only times he still reminded her of Ben. 

"Don't you trust me?" he asked, soft. She stared at him. Did she? The answer came almost immediately. 

"Of course," she said. Again, she saw him visibly relax. 

"Then come on," he said. She hesitated once more. He reached out, touched her arm. "It's okay." Max smiled weakly, shook her head at herself in annoyance at her childish behaviour, and went with Alec to his apartment. 

  
"Do you want something?" he asked her when they arrived. 

"No, I'm fine." They stood in the living room, facing each other. Max glanced out the window. "It's started raining." 

"Yeah, what else is new?" Alec smiled and sat on the sofa; Max joined him gingerly, keeping a wide berth between them. She watched him stifle a sigh. "Max-" 

"I- I don't want to," she cut him off. "I don't want to talk about it." 

"Well, we're going to have to talk about it sometime," he said. She shrugged uncomfortably, let a long silence pass. 

"Then talk," she said finally. He sighed. 

"You said before you don't regret it," he said finally. She looked at him; his eyes were sad. "You're not acting like it." 

"I don't regret it," she told him firmly. "I just... I don't really know. I _should_ regret it." 

"Why?" he asked gently. "You liked it." 

"That's not _enough,_ Alec," she snapped, glancing away from him. 

"Why not?" He was trying to understand, but all his life he had done things that satisfied him and that's all there was, whether it was completing a mission or doing something that was fun. Max said she'd 'had fun,' so what was wrong? She glared at him for a moment, then softened as she realized he honestly didn't understand. She turned back to him. 

"I'm supposed to be in love with Logan," she told him. 

"Who said?" he countered; she frowned at this. 

"No one... I just-" 

"What, so because you've been in love with him for a year it means you always should? Max, it doesn't always work that way from what I understand." 

"But it's my fault," she said softly. 

"Max, it's not your fault that Renfro put that virus in you, and it's not your fault that your relationship with him isn't surviving this." His voice was gentle. "I'm surprised you lasted as long as you did." When she didn't answer he said, "Besides, we're not talking about love, we're talking about sex. It's different." Max's eyes flickered with something imperceptible. 

"Right," she said softly. He stared at her. 

"Wait... Max, are we talking about love?" 

"No." Her voice was small. 

"Yes we are," he realized suddenly. "We're talking about love." He stared at her. "Aren't we?" 

"I don't know," she said. "No. Yes." She threw her hands up, getting up from the sofa and pacing. "Maybe." Finally she repeated, her voice shaking slightly, "God, I don't know, Alec!" 

"Okay, it's okay," he soothed, reaching for her. She hesitated, then sat down beside him and allowed him to put a gentle arm around her shoulders and pull her gingerly against him. 

"I don't know," she repeated, weakly. 

"I know," he told her gently. "What do you want me to do, Max? Do you want me to pretend it never happened?" She sat there for so long that he thought maybe she hadn't heard him. 

Then she said, softly, "No." He let the word hang in the air for a moment, frightening and exhilarating and dangerous. He took a deep breath. 

"Do you want to do it again?" he asked her finally, his voice barely above a whisper; she looked up sharply, searched his eyes for wryness or sarcasm. His face was dead serious. She gazed at him and slowly realized, with a deep stab of pain to her heart, that she did. 

"No," she said. 

"Me too," he whispered. 

"You mean 'me neither,'" she told him. 

"No I don't," he said, low in his throat. She swallowed hard, started to pull away from him. He tightened his grip on her shoulder slightly. "It's okay, Max. You can trust me, remember?" 

_That doesn't help me if I can't trust myself,_ Max thought, but said nothing. She stayed in his arms tensely until several minutes passed without speaking and Alec sighed, releasing her. 

"Why don't you just go home and come back when you've figured this out," he said heavily. Max looked visibly pained at his words. 

"That's harsh," she said. He hadn't meant to be insensitive about it, but she was frustrating and confusing him. 

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean that. I meant-" Max cut him off as she leaned forward suddenly and touched her lips against his, electrifying him. Her lips were at first feather light against his, but then he closed his eyes and deepened the kiss, threading his hands through her dark hair. She clutched at his shoulders and pulled him close. 

After a moment Max pulled away, leaving them both breathless. She stood up hastily but Alec got to his own feet right along with her. She wasn't looking at him; they stood there for several moments before he spoke. 

"What was that?" he asked gently. 

"I wanted to see." 

"Did you?" 

"I don't know," she said softly. "Maybe." She looked at him and allowed him to reach out, brush a loose strand of hair from her cheek. She leaned into his caressing touch for a moment, closed her eyes and revelled in the feeling. She hadn't had a man's hand against her face in so long, and it was beautiful and soft and uncomplicated just to be _touched._ It was a basic human need, like food or water, she just hadn't realized it until she'd lost it with Logan. Max snapped out of it at the thought of him and pulled away from Alec, though she had to admit it was with great reluctance. 

"If there was no virus," she told him softly. "I wouldn't even be thinking of getting involved with you." She gauged his reaction and asked, "Doesn't that bother you?" He took a step closer to her, kissed her again, long and hard. She touched his cheekbone, trailed her fingers down to his shoulder, feeling shudders ripple through him all the way down. 

After a moment he released her lips and dropped a kiss on her temple, then whispered softly into her ear, "There is a virus, though." Max shivered before he pulled back and fixed her with that intense look again. 

"Okay," she said, taking a reluctant step back. "I'll see you later." 

"Yeah," he answered, and watched as she gave him a weak smile and left his apartment. He was sad to see her go but he knew that she had some things to work out and anything they did now would mean he was taking advantage of her in a vulnerable state. If he did that, he knew there would be no chance for anything more between them, so he let her go. But truthfully, Alec also let her go because the fact was that he actually _wanted_ there to be a chance for something more between them, and that terrified him more than any loaded gun or enemy ever had.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: Sorry this took so long to get out! I was not completely useless, though. I did write a whole new story, a Krit/Syl called Chaleur, between posts of this one. Please read it if you haven't! (Chapter 7 of Lacrima Amare is up now, too!) 

  
KISS THE STARS - Chapter 5 

The next morning found Alec at one of his least favourite places to visit: Logan's. It wasn't that Alec disliked the guy, there just wasn't much too him. He was ordinary, boring, and he simply could not figure out what women saw in the man- and had told him as much once. 

"This better be good," he'd said as he pushed through the front door without knocking. He collapsed onto the man's sofa and smiled, threading his hands behind his head. He turned his head slightly as the front door opened and his smile faded. 

"This better be good," Max echoed his earlier remark as she walked into the living room. She halted when she saw him, faltered, then gathered herself and turned to Logan, smiling. She took a seat across the room from Alec in one of Logan's chairs, not meeting the other X5's eyes. This was not lost on Logan, who gave them a strange look and then turned to his computer. Alec stopped himself from rolling his eyes- when was the guy _not_ doing stuff on his computer? His eyes trailed to Max, who was sitting ramrod straight with attentiveness to whatever Logan was saying, obviously only so she could have an excuse to ignore him. 

"... it, Alec?" Logan's voice interrupted his thoughts, startling him. 

"Uh... what?" he asked sheepishly; Max and Logan exchanged an unimpressed look, annoying him, then Max shot him a glare. 

"Pay attention," she hissed. Alec glared right back at her, getting to his feet. 

"Hey, you asked me here," he said to Logan, pointedly ignoring Max. "I don't have to sit here and listen to this." 

"Alec-" Max called as he turned; he paused, glanced back at her. 

"What?" 

"I..." Her eyes darted between the two men in the room. "I... I don't know. Never mind. Go." 

"Dammit, Max," Alec snapped, not with a raised voice but enough to make her cringe slightly. He turned away once more toward the door. 

"Wait, come back," Logan said. Alec obeyed, hanging against the half-wall separating the computer area from the living room, glaring at both of them. "Look," Logan continued. "You two are always fighting and it's always over nothing. I'm sick of it." The two X5s exchanged surprised looks. "Make up," Logan said firmly. 

"What?" Max sputtered as Alec grinned. 

"I said make up," Logan repeated, dead serious. "Go on, shake on it." 

"Yeah, Max, shake on it." 

"Shut up, Alec," she said. Then to Logan, "You can't be serious." 

"I'm serious. I'm sick of your bickering. You act like children. Now make up." Max, not quite knowing how to react to this, stood awkwardly, her face flushed with both anger and embarrassment, and closed the distance separating her from Alec. He was still grinning. 

"Shut up," she said again, though he hadn't said anything. His grin faded slightly and became a smile. She reached down, rolling her eyes as she grabbed his hand, shaking it as he stared at her. His blue eyes bored into her, unnerving her, and she was suddenly lost in his eyes as the two of them shook hands longer than necessary. She forgot everything- the room, what Logan had been talking about, that the other man was even there, everything. 

"I'm sorry," she said to Alec, softly. He nodded; the smile was gone now, replaced by a completely serious expression, almost sad. 

"I understand," he said; pain flashed through his eyes for a moment and Max found herself extending a hand, touching his hair in a soothing manner. Suddenly she felt Logan's eyes on her back and dropped her hands, letting go of him and turning away. Logan was staring at them. 

"What the hell was that?" he asked. 

"Nothing," Alec said quickly. "I'm her brother, right?" 

"Oh." Logan didn't look convinced. "But I thought-" 

"No," Max spoke up, cutting him off. She was standing in the centre of the living room, now looking at neither of them, hugging herself. "Logan, there's something you need to know," she started, taking a deep breath and swallowing hard. Suddenly Alec realized she was going to tell him- everything. Why? Did she expect him to forgive her? Or was she going to break it off? Who did she want, Alec or Logan? Before he could decide what her next words would be, he saw tears gathering in her eyes, of fear for what Logan's reaction would be. As much as he had just started realizing how much he wanted to be with Max, he couldn't stand to see her cry. Alec stepped forward, between Max and Logan, surprising her so she didn't continue with what she'd been about to say. 

"Max, can I see you for a second please?" he asked, trying to keep the urgency out of his voice. 

"Now?" she hissed. He nodded. 

"Yes, now. Outside in the hall." He smiled at Logan. "It'll only be a second." He gave Max a nudge and she headed for the door, going into the hallway outside Logan's apartment. Alec shut the door behind her. 

"Hey!" he heard her yell through the closed door, but he was pretty sure she wouldn't break it down since it would cost Logan a fair sum to fix it afterward. "Dammit Alec, what are you doing?" 

"Stopping you from wrecking your relationship," he muttered to himself as he walked back toward the living room, disgusted with himself. He hated this new desire to have Max happy even if it didn't suit his interests. It was no fun for him. 

"What's going on?" Logan asked when he reentered the room alone, Max's calls echoing behind him, getting angrier and angrier. "What was she going to say to me?" 

"Oh, I don't know." He smiled, slightly panicked, thought quickly. "You know Max. Weird. Strange. She's acting kind of-" An idea struck him as he babbled on. "Oh, she's in heat. Or, going into heat. You know, she does that." His smile faded as he sensed a possible flaw in his plan. "You know that, right?" Judging by the unnerved expression Logan was now wearing, Alec guessed that he did. 

"Well," Logan said. "Thanks for locking her out. She told me once that she can't control herself when-" He broke off. "Just don't bring her around here. The virus-" 

"I won't," Alec promised, smiling to himself at the perfectness of both not having to see Logan anymore and of Max not seeing him for a while either. Maybe this doing things that were good for her was a positive change in his personality after all. 

"Wait," Logan called him back, his voice edgy. "Don't go near her either, Alec." 

"Oh, I won't," Alec said. _But only because I already have,_ he added to himself. "I'm taking her home to hang with Cindy until this passes. Should be a few days, no more." Logan nodded slowly, sill not quite trusting him. _Wise man,_ Alec thought. But what could he do? He was in change now, not Logan. He smiled to himself. _Besides,_ he thought. _A temporary absence from Logan will give us a chance to... talk._ Alec rolled his eyes at himself as he let himself out of the apartment- as if talking was all he wanted to do with her. 

"What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?" she yelled as he emerged into the hallway. He took her arm, leading her away from the door, not thinking Logan above eavesdropping. He explained the situation to her as they headed for the stairs. 

"So what, I have to pretend I'm in _heat_ now?" she demanded. Alec rolled his eyes at her. 

"No, you just have to not go to Logan's for a few days," he told her. "Anyway, where's the thank you? I saved you from destroying your relationship in there, Max." 

"I'm sure it'll work out quite well in your favour," she said dryly. He let go of her arm as they entered the staircase, taking them two at a time to get ahead of her. He whirled on her when he was several steps down from her and glared. 

"Look, Max, I'm sorry if I'm not good at being nice, but I'm trying, okay! What the hell is your problem?!" 

"Don't!" she shouted. "Don't be mad! I'm confused enough without-" A tear slipped down her cheek; her voice was shaking now. She turned toward the wall and whispered, "Please, just don't yell at me." Alec gazed at her, his heart breaking as he realized he was the one who had made her cry, look so miserable. He climbed the steps back to the landing and reached for her. 

"Okay," he said, taking her into his arms. "Okay, I'm sorry. It's okay." She clutched at him, sobbing with hardly any sound. 

"This is too hard," she whispered into his shoulder. He stifled a sigh. 

"I know." 

"I don't know what to think," she choked out through her tears. "I don't know what to _do."_

"What do you want?" he asked. _Me or Logan?_ She hesitated, pulled back from him slightly. His hands came up, brushing her hair from her cheeks and wiping her tears away. New ones replaced them and suddenly, without thinking, he kissed them away, then froze as he realized what he'd done. She was staring at him, wide-eyed. 

"Sorry," he said, pulling back, dropping his arms from around her. "I'm not good at this. I don't-" 

"It's okay." Her voice was so soft. She took a step toward him, took his hand, squeezed it. He gazed down at their entwined fingers and met her eyes, questioning her without speaking. She shrugged and shifted her weight from one foot to another uncomfortably. 

"Max," he said softly. Then, for lack of anything better to add, "Max." 

"Alec," she answered, just as soft. He wanted to kiss her but he wasn't sure if that was a good idea right now. They stood there for a full minute, just staring into each other's eyes. Then Max smiled a tiny, hesitant smile and closed the distance between them with one step. Alec's eyes fluttered closed as her lips touched his. They were so soft, so full, and moved so tenderly, hesitantly against his. He deepened the kiss, tangling his tongue with hers, bringing a hand up to barely stroke her face, then her dark hair. After a few more seconds she pulled away, leaving him breathless for more. 

"This thing," Max said, then halted, tried again. "This thing between us... It's-" She stopped again, frustrated. "It's..." 

"Nice?" Alec said helpfully. 

"I was thinking more along the lines of confusing," she said, smiling at him. "But yes, that too." Alec touched her hair. 

"Confusing can be exciting," he said gently. 

"Exciting can be scary," she countered, her voice soft. 

"Scary can be exciting, too," he told her. She smiled. 

"Yes," she said. "Exciting." Then her smile faltered slightly as she gazed over his shoulder toward Logan's apartment. Alec stifled a sigh. 

"Max..." he began, then trailed off, not knowing what to say. Should he tell her that he wanted her to choose him over Logan, that he thought she'd be so much better with him? Should he tell her he'd do anything to make her happy, more than Logan had ever done, more than anyone else ever had or would? Should he tell her how he felt, that he- 

Alec broke his thoughts off, unnerved, shook his head. He didn't want to think about that now, or ever. It scared him too much. Max was gazing at him. 

"I-" She stopped, frowned. "I don't know," she whispered. "I don't know what to do." He pulled her into his arms again, rubbing a hand soothingly over her back. 

"I know," he said. "Neither do I." She pulled back slightly, gazed at him. Then she kissed him, soft and sweet and long. After a moment he gently but reluctantly pushed her away. 

"I don't want you to do that because you're confused about Logan," he told her, his voice slightly pained. Max smiled at him and kissed him again. 

"I'm not," she said after a moment. "I'm doing this because it feels right." His eyebrows raised in surprise at this. 

"Really?" 

"Yes." She was getting more certain every moment. "It feels right being with you, because you know, Alec." 

"Know?" he asked, confused. She glanced away. 

"I've been through so much," she said softly. "I've lost so many people close to me. Sisters, brothers, friends... People tell me they're sorry, that it'll be okay one day, that I should be strong, carry on, everything happens for a reason..." She looked at him; he was staring at her like he didn't understand but desperately wanted to. She took his hand. "None of them ever _understood,_ though. As much as they were trying and as nice as they were to me, they didn't understand. They couldn't." She forced a smile. "We've _both_ lost so much, Alec. You feel the same things I do; you've been through what I have." He glanced away. 

"Yes." Soft. She touched his arm. 

"It's nice to just be with you and know that you feel what I feel without even having to tell you a thing." He met her eyes hesitantly. 

"I don't, though," he said, his voice sad and soft. "I didn't have the family you did. My group wasn't like yours." 

"It doesn't matter. You've felt the pain, the fear, the confusion. Neither of us has had a childhood, Alec, no matter how close our groups were or weren't. You come from the place we both called home... But it was never a home. It was just a place of fear and punishment and uncertainty and scared little children." Her voice was bitter. "You do know, better than anyone else around me. You know." 

"Maybe," he said, hesitant. "But what does that mean?" Max smiled. 

"It means I don't have to tell you. I don't have to because you already understand. I don't have to explain what I'm thinking, how I feel, my history, what it all means... I don't even understand it myself- do you know how hard it is to try to explain it to other people, to feel I always have to?" He gazed at her for a long moment. 

"Yes," he said, and slowly smiled. "You're right. I know." He pulled her against him once more, close and warm and comfortable. He heard her sigh as she relaxed into his embrace, all the tension draining away. Something settled into Alec's heart at that sound, something that made him peaceful and calm; belatedly, he realized it was a deep contentment. Alec felt tears stinging his eyes at the new sensation; he hugged Max close to him and smiled into her hair. 

  
A/N: I know, too short... sorry, but, I'm having a bit of a problem- I don't want Max and Alec to say "I love you" too soon because I dislike romance fics that have them say it too soon. But now I'm uncertain as to when and under what circumstances they should say it!! Any thoughts?? Thanks! :)


	6. Chapter 6

KISS THE STARS - Chapter 6 

Alec's eyes snapped open at a noisy knocking on the door; he groaned, put a pillow over his face, trying to go back to sleep. The pounding came again, louder. He fell out of bed and stumbled toward the door, yawning loudly and rubbing at his eyes as the knock came once more. 

"It's four in the morning!" he yelled, pulling the door open. "What could possibly-" Alec stopped as he caught sigh of Max standing in the doorway. 

"Sorry," she said. He saw her take in his tousled hair wryly and pass her eyes for a moment over his bare chest before shaking her head and forcing herself to meet his eyes. He grinned at her, leaning against the doorframe. She smiled. "Let's go." 

"Where?" he asked, confused. She looked momentarily exasperated. 

"Weren't you listening to _anything_ Logan had to say to us yesterday?" 

"Oh..." Alec hesitated. "Well, no." She rolled her eyes but smiled at him, entering the apartment. 

"Get dressed, nothing bright. I'll explain on the way." She fell onto his sofa and he sighed, closing the front door and heading for his bedroom. 

"Fine," he said before shutting the door. He smiled at her. "But this better be good." He saw her grin at him before he closed the door and turned to his dresser, grabbing some black clothes. He pulled them on and went back into the living room, grabbing his jacket. She stood and they went downstairs to her motorcycle. He hesitated slightly before climbing on behind her and putting his arms around her, wondering how she would react, but to his surprise she simply relaxed into his embrace as she gunned the engine and roared down the quiet Seattle street. 

Apparently Logan's little meeting the day before had been about some job he wanted Max to do for him, and he'd wanted Alec to go along for her safety. 

"Wouldn't he want me not to come now that he thinks you're in heat?" Alec yelled over the roaring wind, chuckling slightly at the irony of it. He felt Max shrug. 

"I convinced him it would be still be safer for me if you came, and I told him I could resist you. He believed me." She sounded almost embarrassed; it had already been proven that she in fact couldn't resist him, as much as she may have claimed to hate him before that night. Alec breathed in the scent of her hair and said nothing, but secretly he was touched that she'd gone to all that trouble just to spend time with him. 

"So we go in, steal the thing, and get out," Max told him as they headed up to a large factory. Alec grinned at her, nodded. 

"Just like old times, huh?" he asked; she smiled at him. "What does he need this computer thing for, anyway?" 

"How should I know? Some Eyes Only thing." 

"He really enjoys that?" Alec asked. "Saving the world?" Max smiled. 

"I used to ask the same thing," she said. Her smile faded slightly and she sighed. 

"Are you going to tell him?" he asked gently, reading her mind. 

"I have to," she snapped as they neared the factory. She glanced at him. "Sorry." 

"We could leave Seattle," he said. "You wouldn't have to talk to him anymore, have that hanging over your head." It amazed him as much as it obviously did her that he was even proposing this. "We could make a new start somewhere else. California, Vegas. Anywhere you want to go." Max laughed at him, disappointing him. He'd been serious there for a moment. 

"You sound like Zack," she said, and looked instantly sorry. He cringed, glanced away. She stopped walking. "Are we going to be able to concentrate?" she asked, gesturing toward the building. When she said 'we' he knew that she meant 'you.' "I don't want to go in unless we do this right." Alec glared sideways at her and started back toward the factory. 

"Don't worry about me," he said. "Come on." 

"Fine," she said sharply, falling into step beside him, this time not talking at all. He felt the tension crackling between them like waves and stifled a sigh. 

"Max," he said. She glanced over at him. He hesitated, then barrelled on, "Look, I-" But before he could continue, there was a shout from the factory and several soldiers emerged from the building. 

"What the hell?" Max yelled as Alec pulled a gun out of his jacket, both of them going into fight mode. They separated, Max taking several of the men down with punches and kicks, Alec doing the same, using the gun for the more unattainable ones. 

"This thing we're trying to steal better be good!" Alec yelled over the clamour. 

"No wonder Logan wanted you to come along!" Max answered. "He could have at least said something about their security!" She threw the last man down and Alec rejoined her. She looked at him. "This is weird. Logan didn't say anything about this. He said we might have to take out a couple of perimeter guys." They looked around them; twenty men laid in various stages of injury around the yard. 

"Come on," Alec said. "Let's get this over with." Max nodded and they continued up toward the factory, this time much more cautiously, Alec's gun drawn. He cursed as more soldiers emerged from the building, heading straight for them, firing weapons. He and Max took cover behind a nearby tree, glad for the darkness of the night around them. 

"Is this thing really worth it?" he asked; Max shrugged. 

"We're here, we might as well." 

"Yeah," he said dryly, rolling his eyes. He jerked out from behind the tree and fired, hitting one of the men twice in the shoulder. He kept coming. "Uh, problem," Alec announced. 

"What?" 

"Watch," he said; they both looked around the tree and Alec fired at the same man again, this time hitting him twice in the stomach and once in the other shoulder. Again, he didn't seem to be affected. 

"Familiars?" Alec asked; Max looked grim. "Come on," he said. "Let's leave. This is obviously bigger than we thought. We should regroup." 

"No, we should do this now," Max said. Alec frowned at her. 

"Why are you acting so weird?" 

"Come on," she said; he shrugged, sighed, followed her into the yard, firing more pointless shots against the Familiars. They separated again, surrounding the men, splitting them off from each other, weakening them. Max fought with two of them, beating them down, trying to best them though she knew from past experience it was practically impossible. One of them brought out a gun, fired. Agony exploded in her shoulder and bloomed down her arm. She managed to throw a good punch with her other hand before she went down. The Familiar stood over her. 

"Pain is a figment of the mind," he said, preparing to shoot her in the head. 

"Block this out," Alec said, his own gun suddenly against the Familiar's temple. He fired and the man went down, dead. Alec reached for Max, a bullet skimming by his head as he helped her up. 

"Behind you!" she cried; he whirled and fired a shot at another approaching Familiar. He ignored it and reached Alec, grappling with him. Alec swept a leg behind the other man's, throwing him to the ground, and shot down at him, landing a bullet in his head as well. 

"Hey Max," Alec said, turning. "I figured out how to kill-" He stopped talking as he saw her, on the ground again. The remaining Familiars had gone- for backup? Where? He ran to her, dropping his gun to the ground as he reached her. 

"Oh, God," he said, seeing blood seeping from a wound high in her chest, a bullet having gone straight through her throat and out the other side. There was a blow to the side of her head, just above her temple; her hair was dark and wet with blood. He took her cold, shaking hand in his. She was gasping for breath, like a fish. 

"Alec." Her voice came out as a painful, high-pitched sound; she could barely speak. "I can't see." 

"Shshsh." He pulled her close, turning his head away so his tears wouldn't fall on her face. He tried not to sob out loud. "It's just dark, that's all," he whispered. "It's just dark." 

"Alec," she whispered into his chest; he stared down at her eyes, unseeing, the blood pouring from her throat and head. He held her more tightly in his arms, stood up with her. Blood soaked his hand where he cradled her head. 

"I'm going to get you to a hospital," he said softly. "Come on, let's go." 

"Alec," she gasped, grabbed his arm. He stood there, gazing down at her. 

"Max," he said. 

"I really didn't regret it," she told him, smiling through her pain, staring just past his shoulder. He forced himself to smile back, bent his head and kissed her lips, soft, lightly. A weak sob escaped her throat and Alec quickly pulled her closer to him, like a child. 

"I'm getting you to a hospital," he said again. "Just hold on." He looked at her beautiful face, her eyes closed. "Max?" He raised a shaky hand to her neck. "Max!" Nothing. No pulse, no breath, the blood pouring from her throat still warm against his hand. "Max!" he yelled, not caring if anyone heard him now, not caring if they tortured him, killed him. "Max!" He dropped to his knees, tears streaming down his cheeks; she fell out of his arms a little but he held on to her more tightly. "Max!" He lowered his head into her hair, inhaled her herbal shampoo and the scent of pain. "Max..." he whispered, his tears mixing with the blood matted in her hair. "Max." 

  
Alec shot straight up in bed, sweating. He was momentarily disoriented, then he realized what was happening. _A dream. It was a dream. Thank God!_ He ran a hand through his damp hair and let out a long, slow breath, his eyes widened in the darkness of his bedroom. 

"Oh my God," he whispered disbelievingly into the quiet of his apartment. "I'm in love with Max."


	7. Chapter 7

http://devoted.to/x5 

  
KISS THE STARS - Chapter 7 

  
Max was just making some hot chocolate and getting into a good book when the handle of the front door of her apartment turned. She shot against the wall, holding her fists out, ready for an attack- who would just barge in at this hour? Finding the door locked, whoever it was knocked softly on the door and waited about two seconds before picking the lock and swinging the door open. Max grabbed him around the shoulders, slamming him against the wall. 

"Agh, it's me!" Alec's voice came. She let him go immediately and closed the door, glaring at him. 

"Be quiet," she said. "It's four in the morning." He turned around, rubbing at his chin where it had smacked the wall, and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw her safe. 

"You don't sleep," he said, dropping his hand. 

"Well, Original Cindy does," she said. She frowned at his relieved expression. "What's wrong?" 

"I'll be quiet," he promised; Max stood aside, sensing the urgency in his voice. He looked like hell, she observed. 

"You look like hell," she told him. He was momentarily surprised, then smiled tensely at her. 

"Yeah, I just had the worst dream." 

"About...?" 

"You, actually." 

"Thanks," she said dryly, turning back to finish making her hot chocolate. Alec caught her hand. 

"It was a nightmare," he said softly. "You died." Max turned slowly to him. 

"Oh," she managed. "How?" 

"You got shot. I wasn't paying attention," he said, swallowing, not meeting her eyes. He gazed down at their entwined hands and was glad when she made no move to let him go. 

"Haven't a told you a thousand times to pay attention?" she asked softly, trying to lighten the mood. "It messes everything up when you don't." Alec looked at her, scanned her throat, the flawless, unmarred skin of her neck. She hadn't been shot, but the dream had felt so real. 

"Max," he said as she let go of him and turned back to her hot chocolate, stirring it. 

"You want some?" she asked, oblivious to his struggle to find the words he wanted. 

"Max," he said again, ignoring the question. "I- I..." He trailed off as she turned back to him, stifling a sigh, her brown eyes impatient. 

"You came all the way over here to say that?" she asked, walking past him and curling up on the couch again. He hesitated, annoyed- couldn't she see he was trying to say something important. He turned on his heel and headed for the door. 

"Fine," he said, grabbing the handle and pulling it open. "Just never-" Logan stood on the other side, his hand raised in a knock. Both men froze and they just stared at each other for several moments. 

"What are you doing here?" Logan asked finally, sounding slightly panicked; seeing that he believed Max to be in heat, Alec wasn't surprised. 

"What are you doing here?" he countered. Before Logan could open his mouth to answer, Alec shut the door in his face and bolted it. He went back into the living room and Max looked up from her book questioningly. 

"Did I just hear-" 

"I'm in love with you," Alec blurted. Max stared at him for a long moment, her brown eyes huge. 

"You- you- you're- _what?"_ she sputtered finally, looking half frightened and half sick. She reached up and put a hand over her mouth, staring at him as though he were radioactive. Alec stopped looking at her, stared at his shoes. There was a low knocking on the door that would have been a loud pounding if it hadn't been so early. Alec glanced up at Max again hesitantly. 

"That's Logan," he said. Max stood up, went to the door. 

"Logan?" she asked though she could see very well it was him through the peephole. 

"Yeah, Max, open up." 

"I don't think that's a very good idea," she said. "I'm still in heat." There was a long pause. 

"What is Alec doing here?" Logan asked finally, sounding very much like someone who didn't want to know. Max panicked. 

"Oh- oh, well... um... he- we- I mean..." She stopped, tried again. "It's nothing, he just came over to... to..." She searched her apartment wildly for inspiration. Alec, seeing the pure terror on her face, looked around too but found nothing useful and finally shrugged helplessly. 

"To what?" Logan asked quietly through the door. 

"To... to..." Max suddenly brightened. "He came over to fight." 

_Fight?_ Alec mouthed. 

"Fight?" Logan asked. 

"Yes," Max said to both of them. "Fight. Fighting helps, ask Cindy. She was the one who slapped me every five minutes last time it happened." 

"But can you stop yourself from-" Logan stopped. "I mean, with Alec..." 

"It's fine," she said. "I have no interest in him, you know that. He annoys me too much, I've said that a thousand times." She waited hopefully for Logan to accept this and finally she heard a little of the uncertainly leave his voice. 

"Okay..." 

"Logan, you'd better go, okay, because I'm finding it very hard not to throw myself through this door at you every time you talk." She heard him back away from the door. 

"Okay, Max," he said. "Okay, I'm going. Goodnight." 

"Goodnight," she fake-whined, and heard him dashing down the hallway. She turned back to Alec, smiling a little; her smile faded when she saw his face. 

"So I guess that's it," he said, looking absolutely crushed. She stared at him, speechless because she'd never seen such an emotion on his face before. "I annoy you too much," he said, tried to joke. It failed miserably as his face fell again. He wasn't looking at her. "Anyway, I'd better go." Max grabbed his arm as he walked hastily by, slammed him against a nearby wall. 

"What-" he started, then was cut off as she attacked his lips with her own. He pushed her away a little though he really didn't want to, stared at her with passion-darkened eyes, hers similarly deep. "Max," he said. "What are you doing?" 

"You're in love with me?" she asked softly, running a hand from where she'd gripped his shoulder down his arm, finally taking his hand in hers. She smiled. 

"I..." He swallowed hard; his voice was small. "That's what I said, didn't I?" When she said nothing he barrelled on, "But I don't expect you to love me back. I mean- I want you to- but- if you don't- and Logan." He was rambling but the more she stared at him the more he couldn't stop. "I just-I don't mean that I don't want you to love me. I do, but I know you probably-" 

"Alec," she said, halting him. He looked at her. 

"What?" 

"You talk too much," she whispered before she leaned down and kissed him again, harder this time, more ferociously. His hands came up and stroked through her dark hair, touched her neck, trailed shivers over her barcode. He moved down to grasp her jacket, pull it off, then work at the button of her jeans. She pulled back from his lips and shoved him away. 

"Sorry," he said, immediately withdrawing his hands. "I thought-" Max smiled and took a step back, then reached down and pulled her shirt over her head, dropping it to the floor. "What about Cindy?" he asked as she stepped toward him, her black sports bra hiding everything and driving him wild. His mind screamed, _Cindy? Who the hell cares about Cindy?! Why are you arguing, just kiss her, you idiot!!_ So he did, pulling her close, his hands everywhere on her body, her skin hot and soft against his. His shirt quickly joined hers on the floor and that's when Max reluctantly pulled back again, took his hand, and walked with him back to her bedroom. They didn't quite make it to the bed before they had to start kissing again, but Alec managed to nudge her hip and topple them onto it. 

"Now our pheromones won't get in the way," she told him as she nuzzled his throat, nipping at the sensitive skin behind his ear. He trailed his hands up her back and unhooked her bra, throwing it to the floor, both their jeans soon joining it. He leaned down to kiss her again but she took his strong arms in her hands, stopped him, gazed up into his passion-filled eyes. 

"Alec," she said. 

"Max," he answered impatiently, pushing his hips against hers a little. She let out her breath in a long hiss and tightened her arms around his to stop him. 

"Before this goes any further," she whispered even as she allowed him to lean down and kiss her again. "I want you to know..." Another kiss. "That you don't..." His tongue warred with hers. "Annoy me..." His lips pressed hot against hers. "All the time." Alec pulled back in surprise, searched her face for any hint of sarcasm; there was none. 

"I don't?" he asked cautiously. 

"No," she said, smiling at his expression; she swallowed nervously. "And I really think that I... no, I _do_..." Her voice lowered. "Love you." 

"Really?" he breathed, looking like a child who'd just walked into a toy factory and been told he could have anything he wanted. He brought a hand up, stroked her cheek. "Really?" he asked again softly. She kissed him. 

"It's crazy," she said, trailing a hand up the soft skin of his back. "But yes. I do, Alec." His eyes sparkled as his hands moved lower, inflaming her already burning skin. "Oh..." she whispered, her dark eyes fluttering closed. "I love that, too." Alec smiled ferally. 

"I thought you would," he growled. 

"Alec," she forced out, her voice like a purr. 

"Yes?" he breathed. "What can I-" 

"Shut up and just kiss me, okay?" she asked in a voice tense with pent-up desire. He grinned and obliged her, trailing his hands over her body, driving her wild. 

  
A/N: Sorry to cut off at the "best part" but it embarrasses me to write sex for them because it's like I _know_ them. It's different with Krit and Syl. Hopefully you liked it anyway.


	8. Chapter 8

http://devoted.to/x5 

  
KISS THE STARS - Chapter 8 

"Hey," Max said when Logan opened his front door. He smiled at her warily. 

"Hey yourself," he said. 

"I'm good now," she told him, walking through the door, careful as always to keep a safe distance from him. 

"That's good," he said, following her into the living room. She took a seat on the sofa and fidgeted. "What's up, Max?" 

"Why were you at my place last night?" she asked. He flushed slightly. 

"Oh, well, it was late. Or early, depending on..." He trailed off, stopped, sat down across from her. "I thought-" He let out his breath. "I was stupid, I don't know what I was thinking." He was lying, she could tell. He was too embarrassed to say it. 

"Tell me," she said. He sat there for a long time and then quickly mumbled something that sounded like, 'I-guess-I-was-drinking-and-I-got-this-crazy-idea-that-maybe-if-you-really-loved-me-you-would-resist-your-heat-and-if-you-didn't-then-I'd-know-for-sure.' 

"You'd also be dead," she said quietly after a minute. 

"Yeah, like I said, it was stupid." 

"So why did you think I didn't... you know..." She didn't want to say the word 'love,' though she didn't really know why. She'd been able to- barely- say it to Alec the night before, after all. And she'd meant it. She'd just always had trouble saying it, leftover from Manticore, she supposed, where you weren't supposed to ever say anything like that to anyone. 

"You've been acting so distant lately, Max," Logan said. "I thought we were past all that 12-hour stuff, that we were going to hang in there until the virus could be cured. But you hardly ever come over anymore, and when you do you act all uncomfortable and moody." Max bit her lip, going over the past couple of weeks in her mind, when she had been thinking almost non-stop about Alec, her situation with him and what to do about it. Logan was right, she had been shutting him out, she just hadn't known it. 

"I'm sorry," she said softly from where she sat across from him, staring down at her hands. Tears sprung to her eyes and she tried unsuccessfully to blink them back. 

"What's wrong?" Logan asked, alarmed. Max swallowed, looked up at him hesitantly. 

"I was in heat," she said softly. "And Alec was there. It does something funny to them, too. X5 males. I guess that makes sense." She was rambling. "Good thing Zack-" She stopped, saw the expression on his face. "Logan, I am so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. Please believe me." 

"When was it?" he asked, his voice low and defeated. "Last night after I left?" His face paled. "Or was it- God, Max, is _that_ what you were doing when I-" He ran a hand through his hair. 

"No!" she assured him quickly. "No, no, it was a week ago." It was the wrong thing to say. 

"What?" he breathed. "And you didn't- A week ago?" 

"I'm sorry, Logan. I didn't know how to tell you. Alec made up that I was in heat yesterday. He wanted to give us a chance to talk, I don't know. He was afraid I'd wreck you and me and he wanted me to be happy." She smiled a little, but Logan did not look convinced. "Really," she said. 

"So, what, you're running off with him?" he asked, slightly sarcastic. 

"We're not running anywhere." 

"I thought we had something, Max." 

"We did, Logan. We did. I loved you- I _still_ do. That isn't going to change." 

"Then what the hell is all this?" 

"It's too much, worrying every morning, will there be an accident today, will I kill him? Or going to bed each night wondering, will we ever find a cure at all? It's too much, Logan." 

"What, so it's too hard so you're copping out?" he asked. "Giving up?" 

"Stop it," she hissed. "God, you sound like Zack!" 

"Max, we _had_ something." 

"I know! I'm not saying we didn't. That's not all of it." 

"What, so you're saying it's too much, it's too hard, you love me but you don't know if we'll ever get over it, and... what? What else?" 

"I love you, Logan," she said again, glanced away. "But I think I love him, too." 

"What?" he sputtered. "Alec? Alec who you complain about all the time, who you can't _stand?"_

"That was before." 

"Before what, before you couldn't control yourself and he took advantage of you?" Max visibly cringed, for both the jab at her and the one at Alec. 

"That was harsh." 

"Yeah, well, so is everything you're saying, so get used to it." 

"Stop getting mad, I'm trying to explain how I'm feeling!" She took a breath, started again. "Look, Alec is- He understands why- I can't- I don't know why, but-" She sighed. "I can't explain to you why I think I'm falling for him because it's for a lot of reasons. And if I do try to explain it won't be worth how much it's going to hurt you. But I have to explore this. I have to see." She wanted to hug him, put a hand on his arm, _something,_ but she suspected he'd only smack it away even if she could. She got to her feet, stood there for a few moments. "I'm sorry, Logan, I really am. I hope you can believe that." She thought of saying, _This will be better for both of us, you can be happier without me, with some girl you can touch. Asha, maybe._ But that would only sound like an excuse, even though it was true. So she brushed the tears from her face, gave him a weak smile, and then left the penthouse. 

  
Alec was waiting for her in the hall, looking almost afraid of what she'd said, that she might have changed her mind and stayed with Logan after all. Max stopped in front of him and they just stood there for a few minutes, neither of them talking, but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. Finally Alec reached out a hand to her questioningly. Max smiled a little, took it. She looked at their entwined fingers, something she and Logan couldn't do, maybe would never be able to do, and met Alec's eyes. 

"Max?" he asked. "Are you okay?" 

"I think so," she said. "I will be." 

"Are you sure about this?" he asked after a moment, quietly. He was giving her an out, like he'd done before she'd gone in there. "Are you really sure this is what you want?" He really did want her to be happy, even at his own expense. 

"Alec," she said. "I made the right decision. I know what I want." 

"Okay," he said. "If you're sure." She took a step toward him, kissed him, gave his hand a squeeze and watched the smile spread over his face. He smiled and started walking toward the stairs. Her arm tugged as she stopped, stared at the closed door she'd gone through so many times, the door to Logan's, the first man she'd ever let in, ever told everything to. She turned, looked at Alec, who already knew everything and didn't have to ask. They were both good for her, in their own ways, neither better than the other really, just different. _Life is about choices, not decisions,_ someone once told her. It was true. She turned away from the door to Logan's and headed with Alec to the stairs, her heart beating with both uncertainty and love, equally exciting and frightening. She looked at their entwined hands, at his eyes watching her. 

"I'm sure," she said as they entered the stairwell, the door clicking shut behind them, closing on her former life. She glanced over at Alec, smiled at him. "I know what I want." 

  
A/N: So there you have it, the short (sorry about that), sweet ending that I still don't think is quite right but did leave me with a feel-good feeling, which is more than I can say for a certain other story I'm working on right now... Anyway, I must have written this chapter about a thousand times. I just _couldn't_ get Max and Logan to act in character because I couldn't see them breaking up on the show even though I am a far cry from a M/L shipper. I wasn't going to resort to something like Logan sleeping with Asha, either, because I just don't think he'd do it. I hope you guys enjoyed it anyway and please review me even though I know it's the end and there isn't tons of incentive. Thanks for reading and as experiments go I think this was actually quite a success! Maybe I'll try another complete romance someday after I'm done 'Strange Fruit.' Thanks again for reading!! :)


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